If you have been trying to encourage your child to go on the potty and they just won’t cooperate, don’t worry – you’re not alone !Some kids just don’t embrace the whole potty training experience. But there are some things you can do to help them along their way!

First, ask them why they don’t want to use the potty.  Sometimes, misconceptions or real fears stand in the way of successful toilet training.  You may find that you child is simply intimidated by the whole process and wasn’t sure how exactly to proceed. 

If you get a response like this, you are in a prime position to help.  You can start to teach your child how and when it’s time to use the potty without the fears or trepidations that they might possess inherently. 

What else can you try ? Look at these time-tested tricks:

• Turn on the faucet. Some parents find it helpful in early training to try turning on the water faucet in the bathroom as a stimulus to urinate. Hey, if it works for adults it will work for kids.
  
  
• Try the “warm water” trick. Once the child is sitting on the potty, fill a large bowl or small bucket with lukewarm or tepid water. Place some new “potty” toys in the bowl and set the bowl of water in front of the child. When the child places his/her hands in the lukewarm water to play with the toys, they may nearly instantly go.
  
  
• Place targets in the toilet. This tip works best for boys. Many parents put objects in the toilet so boys have something to aim for. We’ve addressed this before, but having an “aim” to shoot for can be a huge motivator!This challenge taps into their natural interest in hitting targets. Inexpensive and biodegradable targets include Cheerios, Fruit Loops, and squares of toilet paper with drawn-on “bulls-eyes.” Some parents have been known to use glitter or sprinkles. One even pours a little bubble bath in the toilet and tells her child to make bubbles.
  
  

• Sing a song. Singing a song for your child will help you pass the time and keep them interested in staying in the bathroom.Some parents go so far as to create a potty song to make their child feel more comfortable in the bathroom.

  Try this parent’s technique.  This song is sung to the tune of Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. It goes like this: “Tinkle, tinkle, little pee, in the potty you will be. Poopy, poopy stinky-o, in the potty you will go.”
  
  

• Let your child run naked. Allow your child to run around naked when you are at home. Having to deal with the urge to eliminate will be much more noticeable to your child when there is nothing to catch it in but the potty.We are big fans of this technique.  When children are feeling less constrained by things like clothing and diapers, they are more apt to try and get rid of their waste in the toilet.
  
  

• Try a pee-pee tree. For a resistant boy who refuses to go anywhere but his underwear or training pants, as part of the outside bare-bottom drill, paint a target on a tree and show him how to water it.Again, we’ll remind you that this worked wonders with Conner. Well, we didn’t have to paint a target on a tree, but he took great joy in watering his friends that gave him climbing opportunities.
  
  

• If any concerns come up before, during, or after toilet training, talk with your pediatrician. Often the problem is minor and can be resolved quickly, but sometimes physical or emotional causes will require treatment.Your pediatrician’s help, advice, and encouragement can help make toilet training easier. Also, your pediatrician is trained to identify and manage problems that are more serious.
  
  

• Seek advice and support online. Talk to other parents about their success and failures on online discussion boards. Post a message, ask a question, and exchange information about potty training. It’s a great learning experience!

If advised by consulting physicians and specialists to toilet train the child, a great deal of patience and a longer time frame may be necessary. Many other skills accompany even simple routines for children with physical or mental impairments.

As a parent, you are the only one who knows your child’s abilities.  You can gauge whether or not they are even near being able to grasp the thought or tasks involved in potty training.

Just like with all other children, you need to be sure that your child is fully able to understand his or her’s bodily functions and what to do with those feelings when they arise.  You have to let your child dictate to you when the time is right.

Once you reach that point, use the same techniques we’ve outlined throughout this blogs. Just because your child has special needs doesn’t make them all that different from every other child.  As you are well aware, potty training special needs children just requires a little adaptation.

You need to do a clear task analysis of each process that trainers and parents often take for granted. This may involve actually writing down every step taken in order to go to the toilet. The tasks might include some of the following:

* Recognizing when she/he has to go to the bathroom

* Waiting to eliminate

* Entering the bathroom

* Manipulating clothing closures

* Pulling pants down

* Sitting on the toilet

* Eliminating in the toilet

* Using paper correctly

* Pulling pants up

* Flushing toilet

* Washing hands

* Drying hands

You may notice that many of the signs outlined above are the same as any other child who is ready to begin potty training.  Your special needs child is no different.  You need to be aware of what to look for before taking on this difficult task and then start with the right attitude for both you and your child.

To see if your child is ready to learn toilet training, answer the following additional questions.

* Can the child follow simple directions? (”Come here.”)

* Can the child sit in a chair for five minutes?

* Can the child wait at least 1-1/2 hours between elimination times?

Recognizing the signs that your child is ready for the potty is the best way to know when it’s time to begin. You are no different than any other parent at this point in your child’s development.Sure they might a little older, but you still have to help your child travel this road with as little disruption and distraction as possible.

If you suspect a physical problem, of course, your first line of defense is to take your child to his or her physician.  My sister was having trouble with hard stools during her potty training.  Her doctor prescribed strong stool softeners and my mother made dietary changes and eventually, the problem was rectified.

There are a number of things that could be going on when your child’s body just isn’t cooperating with his or her mind.

Consider the possibility of an allergy. Lactose intolerance (the inability to digest milk or milk products) is the most common, but other foods can cause allergies, too.

How much sorbitol is your child consuming in sugarless candies and gum? Sorbital is a new culprit in chronic loose stools. It also is found naturally in pear juice and apple juice, which could make a difference if a child drinks lots.

Watch for signs of urinary infections. These include pain or burning sensations while urinating, straining to urinate, color changes in the urine, foul-smelling urine, frequent urination that produces very little, or a split stream of urine. Other signs could be abdominal pain or a fever of an undetermined origin. Such infections are not uncommon in small children.

Be aware that even after a urinary problem has cleared up, the child may still remember and fear the pain of urinating, and this may complicate potty training. Reassure the child and don’t be impatient if it takes him or her a while to get over the fear.

Check a toilet-trained child who starts to have many urinary accidents, as well as a significant increase in urination for diabetes.

Remember that diarrhea can cause problems with bowel control. Persistent diarrhea is usually a symptom of a physical problem, and it should be treated by a doctor.

Remember that could be keeping your child from wanting to move his or her bowels, because it is painful. If it’s not chronic, you can help by keeping the children company while they’re sitting on the toilet, lubricating the anus with Vaseline, or even helping hold the “cheeks” apart to make it easier to move the bowels.constipation

Dietary changes can also help. Chronic constipation can put pressure on the bladder and cause daytime, as well as nighttime, accidents in which case it’s time to seek medical attention.

Some parents with special needs children wonder if there’s anything out there that will help them toilet train their child too.  There actually is some advice we can offer in this venue as well.

If you have been trying to encourage your child to go on the potty and they just won’t cooperate, don’t worry – you’re not alone!  Some kids just don’t embrace the whole potty training experience.  But there are some things you can do to help them along their way!

First, ask them why they don’t want to use the potty.  Sometimes, misconceptions or real fears stand in the way of successful toilet training.  You may find that you child is simply intimidated by the whole process and wasn’t sure how exactly to proceed. 

If you get a response like this, you are in a prime position to help.  You can start to teach your child how and when it’s time to use the potty without the fears or trepidations that they might possess inherently. 

What else can you try?  Look at these time-tested tricks:

• Turn on the faucet. Some parents find it helpful in early training to try turning on the water faucet in the bathroom as a stimulus to urinate. Hey, if it works for adults it will work for kids.
  
  
• Try the “warm water” trick. Once the child is sitting on the potty, fill a large bowl or small bucket with lukewarm or tepid water. Place some new “potty” toys in the bowl and set the bowl of water in front of the child. When the child places his/her hands in the lukewarm water to play with the toys, they may nearly instantly go.
  
  
• Place targets in the toilet. This tip works best for boys. Many parents put objects in the toilet so boys have something to aim for. We’ve addressed this before, but having an “aim” to shoot for can be a huge motivator!

  This challenge taps into their natural interest in hitting targets. Inexpensive and biodegradable targets include Cheerios, Fruit Loops, and squares of toilet paper with drawn-on “bulls-eyes.” Some parents have been known to use glitter or sprinkles. One even pours a little bubble bath in the toilet and tells her child to make bubbles.
  
  

• Sing a song. Singing a song for your child will help you pass the time and keep them interested in staying in the bathroom.

  Some parents go so far as to create a potty song to make their child feel more comfortable in the bathroom.

  Try this parent’s technique.  This song is sung to the tune of Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star. It goes like this: “Tinkle, tinkle, little pee, in the potty you will be. Poopy, poopy stinky-o, in the potty you will go.”
  
  

• Let your child run naked. Allow your child to run around naked when you are at home. Having to deal with the urge to eliminate will be much more noticeable to your child when there is nothing to catch it in but the potty.

  We are big fans of this technique.  When children are feeling less constrained by things like clothing and diapers, they are more apt to try and get rid of their waste in the toilet.
  
  

• Try a pee-pee tree. For a resistant boy who refuses to go anywhere but his underwear or training pants, as part of the outside bare-bottom drill, paint a target on a tree and show him how to water it.

  Again, we’ll remind you that this worked wonders with Conner.  Well, we didn’t have to paint a target on a tree, but he took great joy in watering his friends that gave him climbing opportunities.
  
  

• If any concerns come up before, during, or after toilet training, talk with your pediatrician. Often the problem is minor and can be resolved quickly, but sometimes physical or emotional causes will require treatment.

  Your pediatrician’s help, advice, and encouragement can help make toilet training easier. Also, your pediatrician is trained to identify and manage problems that are more serious.
  
  

• Seek advice and support online. Talk to other parents about their success and failures on online discussion boards. Post a message, ask a question, and exchange information about potty training. It’s a great learning experience!
  

Perhaps your toddler is taking a long time getting used to the idea of using the potty all the time and they aren’t completely trained when you need to travel.That’s where this section would apply as well.

Have your child leave home empty.That means to go potty before leaving and no liquids on the road – well, minimal liquids.Resist the urge to put them in a pull up.He or she is a big kid now.  Putting a diaper on him or her now can only confuse.

Take along the potty chair or adapter seat.Little bladders can require frequent pit stops and you want to be prepared.Anywhere you go, look for the bathrooms first.  Make note of rest areas along the way where you may be able to stop for a potty break.

Carry extra tissues and sanitizing gel for strange bathrooms.You don’t want to be caught short.I always liked to have an extra roll of toilet paper in my purse along with a huge bottle of Germ-X.  You never can be too sure what type of situation you’ll be getting into.

Always choose the handicap or family bathroom.You’ll have extra room if you use the stall for people with disabilities, but the seat may be elevated and your child will need more help.

Shopping malls and many other places are now building unisex family bathrooms specifically designed for parents. These bathrooms are as large as handicap bathrooms, private, and can be stocked with needed toiletries like Kleenex and wipes.

Teach children to line public toilets with strips of toilet paper as an added barrier of protection if toilet seat liners are not available.

Always, always accompany your child into public restrooms. Safety is nothing to take for granted – even while potty training.  Never, ever let your child go into a public restroom alone.  Don’t even let them go with an older sibling.  Have them accompanied by a trusted adult – at all times!

Pack a waterproof sheet, small plastic tablecloth, or heavy plastic bag to cover mattresses, or a rubber-backed bathroom rug that rolls ups easily for travel. Hotel staff will be just as appreciative as relatives and friends.

Don’t be surprised or upset if your child starts to have accidents. Revert to training pants for now; relax and enjoy your trip. Don’t make your trip a battleground. Worry about training or retraining when you get back home.

Watch your child’s diet while on the road.  A change in diet during family vacations is likely to bring about a change in bowel habits, either constipation or diarrhea, and a corresponding slump in training progress.

First, when it comes to the potty chair and the removable bowl, you may want to show your child the correct way to clean it out and have them do it themselves.

Change your child’s underwear or training pants as soon as possible after soiling so s/he doesn’t become comfortable with or even enjoy, being soiled.

Soiled underwear falls into one of two categories: save or trash. When it is just urine, a run in the washing machine will make it smell like new. When it is a bowel movement, it depends. Most likely, if the BM is wet or mushy, pitch the underwear in the trash. But there may be occasions when few or no traces of BM are apparent and the underwear can be saved.

Encourage your child to wipe the seat when he or she is done.  Since germs can be sprayed from the toilet flushing process and settle on the seat, teach children to wipe the toilet seat with toilet paper. Germs can be present whether the seat is wet or dry.

Teach your child how to wipe properly.  Girls should wipe thoroughly from front to back to prevent bringing germs from the rectum to the vagina or bladder. Teach your little girl to go “pat, pat, pat” instead of wiping hard. This will help eliminate irritation or possible rashes.

Buy products that are gentle on children’s extra sensitive skin but also are strong and absorbent. For example, pre-moistened wipes are ideal for young users because they gently and effectively clean children’s delicate skin while providing the strength and absorbency to accomplish the task.

There are now tons and tons of these products on the market, so finding one shouldn’t be too difficult!

Show your child how to wash their hands.  Hand washing and other hygiene practices actually do reduce the spread of disease.  Use antibacterial soap and warm water. Scrub hands for about 15 seconds.

Some say that reciting the ABC song fully while washing your hands will get them clean enough.  You can also teach your child to count to ten or say a rhyme while washing hands to help them gauge the right amount of time.

They should dry their hands on a towel (which should be laundered at least on a weekly basis). Hand washing should be routinely done, even if your child didn’t actually “go” in the potty. And don’t forget to wash YOUR hands, too.

Children need repeated reminders to close the toilet lid before flushing to avoid contact with germs that might spray up.

For easy potty chair clean up, place cling-wrap or a coffee-filter in the bowl before your child sits down. When they’re done, there’s minimal mess - just lift the wrap or filter out and throw it in the trash. Don’t flush the wrap and filter because it’s not biodegradable like toilet paper.

Clean the potty periodically with a bleach/water solution after each potty training session. To avoid cleaning carpets, place the potty on an easily cleaned floor or invest in a mat that can be cleaned to avoid any spillage on the carpets. One mom puts down painter’s plastic which is cheap to buy and easy to discard.

Washing hands can be difficult for your little one.  They probably won’t be able to reach the bathroom sink, so that’s where the stool we talked about before can come in handy!
After your child has mastered daytime potty habits, it’s time to work on staying dry throughout the night!

It has incorrectly been assumed that this is the result of emotional disorders (which are more often the result-not the cause-of it) or by lax toilet training. A child can also be born with poor muscle tone in the bowel or anal sphincter.

It seems, however, the majority of cases are the result of chronic constipation, though, of course, it can be complicated by other stresses in either toilet training or life situations. With chronic constipation, colon tissue can be stretched to the point that nerves fail to receive proper signals and the muscles no longer contract properly so that a child no longer feels the urge to go.

A child may even have no awareness of when stool pushes out into the underwear. Watery stools can also seep past harder stool, soiling pants without a child being aware of it until after the fact. Regardless of the basis of the problem, both parents and children need to know they are not alone here and no one is to blame for this problem.

Not all doctors are trained in successful therapy for this problem so look for one who is, as this problem needs to be approached medically as well as psychologically. If your county medical association can’t help, seek out a children’s hospital or university teaching hospital. Encopresis is treated by a gradual retraining of the bowel which includes dietary changes, supplements, and behavior modification. There is not an overnight cure for this condition.

The first step toward treating constipation should be changing your child’s diet.

Praise your child for every bowel movement made in the potty or toilet. Also praise a child for even sitting and trying to go.

At some point your child will no longer have bowel movements during the night. They become a daytime process for most children. The more regular your child is, the easier it will be to start bowel-control training. Children often stop playing when they are having a bowel movement. Some even hide in a favorite spot. Others just grunt or get red in the face. Saying, “I see you’re having a bowel movement” helps a child identify what is occurring and associate those sensations with the process.

Explain to your child that you will be taking him or her to the toilet or the potty chair and that you expect the bowel movement to go there rather than in diapers. Use proper terminology such as “This is what Mommy and Daddy do, what grown-ups do and now what you should do because you’re getting so big and grown up” Give advance notice as to when this procedure will start. Children need to hear what you expect in pleasant tones and words.

Constipation may actually delay toilet training for your child. This is not anything to be worried about, but just one more variable you can be sensitive to. If your child has a regular time for a bowel movement, choose that time to go to the bathroom.  If they have no regular time, try within 30 minutes after a meal. When the stomach is full, the colon is often stimulated to empty.

As we’ve said before, be prepared to sit with your child to keep him or her company. Don’t insist your child sit for more than a few minutes but only as long as he or she is comfortable.

At the same time, know that some children need to be alone to have a bowel movement. Bright bathroom lights and too much conversation may inhibit them from relaxing their sphincter muscles.

A reluctant-relaxer may require different approaches until you find one that works. Consider breaking the task into small, slow steps. Encourage a child to sit on and use the potty (or toilet) with clothes and a disposable diaper on to begin with. After a child is comfortable with this procedure, progress to going with only a disposable diaper sides ripped open.

Then you can move from sitting with a disposable diaper across the seat to just using toilet paper across it. Other children may be able to relax and void (just remove feces quickly with little fuss) while in a warm bath before making the transition to the potty chair or toilet. Or insist, that even using a diaper, a child stay in the bathroom when having a BM and then empty diaper into the toilet and flush.

Constipation is most often a factor in belated bowel control. A child who cries, screams, or kicks when urged to use the potty may be doing so because of the discomfort or pain experienced due to constipation. In this case, it is not stubbornness, but fear (real or imagined), that is keeping the child from doing what you ask and holding back. Some even believe there can be an inherited tendency towards constipation.

Constipation is NOT diagnosed by infrequency of bowel movements, but by the hardness and character of the stool. Dry BMs that don’t stick to the diaper can be a description of constipation. And what may be considered hard to pass by adult standards is not the same for children.

Whatever makes passing stool difficult or painful for a child will inhibit a child from wishing to repeat the procedure thus compounding the problem. Avoid suppositories and enemas as they will be seen as an “assault” by the child.

If your child cannot gain effective control of his or her bowels, there might be a medical reason.  Consult your doctor if there seems to be a really huge problem with your child’s BM.

Some people feel you shouldn’t make a HUGE deal out of using the potty, but when you’re trying to reinforce a positive behavior, it has to be up to you.  We made a REALLY big deal every time Conner went on the potty.  It worked for him.

Give physical reinforcement in the form of hugs while you’re giving out that praise.  Clap and say words like “Good for you”, “What a big boy/girl”, “You went on the potty – YAY!” and such.

Don’t just congratulate your child for going on the potty; praise them when they stay dry too.  Check his/her pants every hour or so and let him/her know how great it is that s/he’s stayed dry.

Some parents have created elaborate song and dance routines to let their child know how pleased they are.  Kids love to be silly, and many adults like to be silly too.  Use this time to explore your own inner child when potty training is occurring.

Praise for jobs well done should be second nature. It’s just too easy to see the “bad stuff” children do when in reality they’re doing a lot more “good stuff” then we give credit for. When it’s time to introduce the potty to your toddler, give it a sunny spin. Make it sound wonderful to be old enough to sit on the potty chair.

Accidents are going to happen.  If your child has an accident, don’t make a big deal about it and don’t get angry.  If you do this, it will chip away at their morale and could start making them feel like they really can’t do the job they’re expected to do.

If your child has an accident, just help them get cleaned up and forget about it.  You may want to say something encouraging like, “It’s alright, and you’ll make it to the potty next time.”

Praise your child even if he or she just goes and sits on the potty but doesn’t go.  This will likely occur early in the process, and is a positive behavior that should be acknowledged.

Another important part of potty training is teaching your child about good hygiene.

When your child wants to use the big potty, he or she is exerting independent tendencies, and you can encourage this tendency.  It will, however, take some attention on your part, too!

It is perfectly acceptable to have your child learn to use the toilet without any special equipment. Obviously, the longer you wait to train your child, the bigger he or she will be and the more likely able to sit on an adult seat without any aid except possibly yours.

Remember the adult toilet can seem like an abyss to a child. But certain techniques can make a child feel more secure.

Teach a boy to urinate sitting down backward on the toilet, straddling it, and pointing his penis downward. If he is distracted while standing, he might forget to aim.

Teach a little girl to sit sideways or backward on the big toilet. A little girl should also “sink” her bottom low enough so urine does not go through the seat ring and bowl rim. In the beginning, removing underwear and pants will lessen chance of them getting wet.

Hold your child securely on the seat’s edge yourself.  They trust you anyway, so having you there with them will give them the sense of safety that they really need.

Now that we’ve covered tools you can use during potty training, it’s time for us to look at what time is the right time.